Humiliation: the power to stop the 'why'-question

The next training course i took at the Academy for slaves was the ‘Humiliation training’. After the Basic Obedience course i really accepted submission as a valuable dimension of my personality. i felt the power and the superiority of Supreme Goddess Lorena and i was fully aware I was a lowly being, crawling at Her Feet. But was my mind ready to accept to be humiliated by my Mistress, or did what was left from my male pride resist to such humiliation?
The Humiliation Training is a good test to see what is left of that male pride, and certainly the best possible next step to further enslavement.

Again, i do not want to go into great detail about the assignments. If you read this blog, it is probably because you are looking for slave training yourself. Than you have to go your personal way, and to much detail of someone else’s experience can withhold you from searching your own experience.

But i want to share with you a few things I find amazing, now that i look back at the training after some time. First thing: certainly the assignments were ‘difficult’ and ‘stupid’. And at the same time: they were very easy for me. That tells a lot about my state of mind at that moment. i really craved to be humiliated, so i was eager to do everything necessary to make the assignments really humiliating for me. Whatever Supreme Goddess Lorena asked me, i did without questioning. Normally i am a critical person, always asking the ‘why’-question. Now the fact that Supreme Goddess Lorena asked it, was enough to stop all questions from my part. Someone who can make me stop asking the ‘why’-question has real power over me, so if i still needed proof of the power of Supreme Goddess Lorena over me, the humiliation training was all i needed.

Second thing: after some of the assignments i felt a certain ‘intimacy’ (maybe strange in an e-mail training, but a fact for me.) i really wanted to share with Supreme Goddess Lorena what Her humiliating assignments did to me. And by writing freely about it, i made the excercises more humiliating yet. Of course the fact that i could write so freely, tells a lot about the trust I felt for my Trainer at that moment. For people who never experienced the dynamics of a D/s-relationship this must sound incredible: how can you trust someone who is constantly humiliating you? But to me, that is just the beauty of a D/s-relationship, opposed feelings are brought together in one reality. Normally, if you are humiliated by someone, you try to avoid that person. Now, i felt that after each humiliation i was closer to Supreme Goddess Lorena and that i wanted to come closer yet, even if that meant to be humiliated further by Her.

That feeling of intimacy and humiliation at the same time didn’t leave me ever since. Now, when i want to be really close to Supreme Goddess Lorena i hope She will be so kind to humiliate me again. To humiliate someone always asks an effort and a kind of creativity, and it feels good that your Mistress wants to spend that effort and creativity to You. And by accepting the humiliation, you show your respect and trust for Her. So, it is a kind of intimacy, even if it is long distance.

Of course, we must give humiliation it’s proper place in a D/s-relationship. It can be or become a fetish for a slave to be humiliated by his Mistress. And a D/s-relationship is not about the fetishes of a slave, but about the superior needs of the Mistress. But it is just one register a Mistress can use in defining the proper place of the slave. Maybe the case of Supreme Goddess Lorena is something special. She is a very kind person, and She doesn’t need to humiliate people to show Her power. Sometimes She just thinks it is fun to humiliate some lowly males, especially when She is with some of Her Girlfriends. Or sometimes She just thinks you need a lesson, and a little bit of humiliation does the trick quite well.