Female Supremacy
If i imagine a society where my personality can develop in it’s most complete way, i see a society where i as a lowly man can serve the needs of the Superior Woman who is my Mistress. In that society Women have a right to use men as their slaves. i think in principle it is possible to build such a society. This makes me a Female supremist.
Awareness of superiority
Until know i wrote in my weblog some articles about my existence as a lowly male, and as a worshipper of Supreme Goddess Lorena. i especially focused on my training at the Academy for slaves. i may say i am now a man who is aware of his lowly position, accepts his submission and is ready to an existence as a slave.
In this article i want to focus on the position of Women. For me all Women are superior to men. That is what Supreme Goddess Lorena taught me, that is what i say in my daily prayers to Her. This superiority is independent of the awareness of Women of that situation. Some Women are aware they are superior, Others are not. But for me They are superior. As a Female supremist i hope more Women become aware of Their superiority.
Claim the rights
Of course, Women have a choice to ‘do’ something with Their superior position or not. They may ‘claim’ the rights that follow from Their superior position. Or They may choose a lifestyle where They are ‘equal’ to men. As a Female supremist i consider it intolerable that Women are held in an inferior position to men. So this means that even for the ‘equal rights’ option, there is a lot of work to do. But as a Female supremist i think it is even more important to show Women the other option: to claim the rights they have by Their superior position. Just focusing on the equal rights position is losing time.
male fetishes or Female needs
In my opinion, the number of Women who are aware of Their superiority is growing. But that doesn’t mean that all these Women know how to make men Their slaves that serve Their superior needs. For instance, on the internet and everywhere in popular culture the image of the Dominatrix becomes more widespread. And of course the Dominatrix is a Woman that dominates men. But all to frequently, this kind of domination if finally directed to fulfil the fetishes of the man. Eventually, the Dominatrix serves the fetishes of the man, where it should be the man that serves the superior needs of the Woman.
Dedication to ‘true’ Female Supremacy
Supreme Goddess Lorena became aware of that truth when She was a professional Dominatrix herself. That made Her decide to quit that profession and to found Goddessclub.
Goddessclub is for men who worship Women, but also for Women who finally decide They want to be treated as Goddesses by the lowly men serving Them. For me, this makes Goddessclub one of the rare websites that is dedicated to ‘true’ Female Supremacy, and not only to the fetishes of lowly males.
As a Female supremist, i think more Women who are already aware of Their superiority should engage in actions to convince other Women of the options They have. Supreme Goddess Lorena herself is putting a great effort in it. Partly this is out of need. Because Her Academy for slaves is that successful, She needs more Women who can train men in their submission. But for Her, it is a mission that goes far beyond Her own needs. As She sees the growing number of males that become aware of their lowly position and wants to be a slave, it is necessary for the advancement of Female Supremacy that more Women claim Their right to own slaves. So Supreme Goddess Lorena chooses no to spend a lot of effort in educating Women in the practicalities of dominating a man, but also in the philosophy of Female Supremacy and in the ethics of being a Mistress.
Princess Day
Tomorrow (August, 11) is Princess Day. It is a day that Supreme Goddess Lorena will be celebrating with Her long time companion and assistant Goddess Alison and the Young Ladies She actually tutors to become Mistresses of the Academy for slaves. For a slave and worshipper like me, it feels so great to know that this group of Superior Women will have fun together. It is Their right, after all Their efforts to have fun, and it is good that the Young Ladies learn They don’t need men to have fun. Of course i’ve send my tribute for the celebration of Princess Day, and i hope many other slaves have done it, so that the Ladies can really celebrate.
Supreme Goddess Lorena has instructed Her worshippers who follow the Lorenaism calendar to stay at home that day and to have only sober meals of bread and left overs and to drink only tap water. I look forward to that day of sobriety, because for me it is a way to feel mentally close to the Ladies that will be celebrating whole day long. Especially it is an opportunity to be mentally close to Supreme Goddess Lorena, who not only took care for my submission but who takes responsibility for showing the young Ladies who They can live as the Superior Women They are. Once again, thank You, Supreme Goddess Lorena.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
e-Trust and e-Confidentiality - the difficult life of a cyberslave
Supreme Goddess Lorena and i have a cyberrelationship. That means that until now we didn’t meet face to face. And most probably we never will meet face to face. Some/most people oppose ‘cyber’-relationships to ‘real life’-relationships. As if ‘cyber’ hasn’t become a part of our ‘real life’. i disagree with this vision. I am fully aware i have a ‘cyber’-relationship, and i am fully aware this relationship is affecting my ‘real life’. It is just that growing part of my ‘real life’ that isn’t face to face. (It is not because i am into webbanking, and my bank even discourages me to have face to face contact with their employees that my money and the bills i have to pay become less real.)
Of course a ‘cyber’-relationship has it’s limitations. Of course being able to meet ‘face to face’ (or in our case maybe ‘face to feet’) would add something to the relationship. And because i feel a certain dynamic in our relationship i hope it can grow. As a Superior Woman Supreme Goddess Lorena has a right to be served in all Her daily doings by sincere slaves. And i dare say with some more training and a little bit of discipline i would be a good slave to Her. At least, for some of Her needs. But we just aren’t face to face, so i can serve Her in that way. That is a fact, and that is a limitation on our relationship. So, we have to deal with it.
Other ‘facts’ make up for other ‘limitations’, at least from my point of view. Supreme Goddess Lorena is in a ‘one to many’-relationship with Her slaves. She has a very strict rule that any male who wants to be Her slave, must exclusively serve Her. She owns a few slaves, and trains a lot of them. It is the mission of Supreme Goddess Lorena to train as many men as possible to be slaves to the superior needs of Women. Everyone who wants to serve Her, must support Her mission and hence accept that She trains many slaves. And if one is serious about serving Supreme Goddess Lorena, it is obvious that no single slave can serve all Her needs. So it is normal She owns at least a few of them. By owning many slaves Supreme Goddess Lorena overcomes the limitations of any single slave, and that is Her right. At the same time, every slave hopes to be ‘special’ or ‘the special one’ in the eyes of the Goddess. But that is logically impossible and hence for the slave a limitation to the relationship.
Maybe it is even a general rule of relationships (not exclusively for D/s relationships): if one engages in a relationship it means one makes the choice to deal with the limitations of it. If one is falling foolishly in love, there seems to be no limitations to the relationship. If in a relationship that stands for some years there is still love, this means both partners have found a way to deal with limitations. Limitations of the other person. Limitations of oneself. Limitations of the situation. Maybe dealing with limitations is even the beauty of a relationship. Because after all that is the fuel for the dynamics of the relationship.
What i am writing here sounds very rational. But it is not how i feel at this moment. At this moment i am struggling with the limitations of my relationship as a cyberslave to Supreme Goddess Lorena. Just because i feel Her domination over me hasn’t reached it’s limits yet, and my submission to Her hasn’t reached it’s limits, i feel the limitations the internet puts on our relationship as a burden. The limitation that i am stuck with has a name: trust.
The more a relationship gets personal the more trust is at stake. If you don’t trust someone, you try not to get involved in a personal way with him or Her. Of course the internet has a problem of trust. It is easy to fake a personality at the internet. The internet even encourages us to do so. By choosing a nickname at a forum, by given us the opportunity to create (or ‘buy’) us a personality in SecondLife. And in general people want to trust the ‘real’ person, not the ‘fake’ person.
The choice Supreme Goddess Lorena is making to train many slaves trough the internet makes the problem of trust bigger for Her. Between the many slaves She meets through the internet there must be some ‘fake ones’ and even in the group of honest slaves, there will be some who begin to stalk their Divine Mistress once She shows to much confidentiality to Her slaves. So because Supreme Goddess Lorena makes the choice to train many slaves, She makes a reasonable choice to put limitations on the degree of trust and confidentiality She shows to any of Her slaves in particular. By accepting the terms and conditions of my slavery to Her, i accept all the consequences of it.
Again, some (or many) people say that just because the internet puts such a great trust and confidentiality problem, that opposes cyberrelationships to real life relationships. Again, i do not agree. Also in ‘face to face’ life people love to experiment with personalities. And that puts the problem of which of the personalities a person is showing is the ‘real’ personality and the ‘fake’ personality. And also in face to face relationships we want to give our trust to the ‘real’ person. Think of the very romantic lover who turns out to be just another jerk right after marriage. And honestly, i think that in this example it is even impossible to decide which of the personalities is the ‘real’ one, the romantic lover or the jerk.
So the things that play in my cyberrelationship to Supreme Goddess Lorena are the same one that play in face to face relationships for centuries. Over time we have learned to ‘check’ for trust in face to face relationships. Mothers could at least try to warn Their Daughters that romantic lovers could turn into just the same kind of jerk Their father is. In cyberrelatonsships we are the ‘first generation’: no one can teach us how to ‘check’ for trust. We have the ‘privilege’ to find it out for ourselves.
I feel i can submit more to Supreme Goddess Lorena. I feel She can dominate me more. Just at this moment the way we relate shows the limitations it puts on an ‘easy going’ development of our relationship. It brings me in a strange mood. If it brings also some inspiration to think about the ‘reality’ cyberrelationships and face to face relationship share, well maybe i contributed a little bit to the sloppy learning curve of trust and confidentiality on the internet.
Of course a ‘cyber’-relationship has it’s limitations. Of course being able to meet ‘face to face’ (or in our case maybe ‘face to feet’) would add something to the relationship. And because i feel a certain dynamic in our relationship i hope it can grow. As a Superior Woman Supreme Goddess Lorena has a right to be served in all Her daily doings by sincere slaves. And i dare say with some more training and a little bit of discipline i would be a good slave to Her. At least, for some of Her needs. But we just aren’t face to face, so i can serve Her in that way. That is a fact, and that is a limitation on our relationship. So, we have to deal with it.
Other ‘facts’ make up for other ‘limitations’, at least from my point of view. Supreme Goddess Lorena is in a ‘one to many’-relationship with Her slaves. She has a very strict rule that any male who wants to be Her slave, must exclusively serve Her. She owns a few slaves, and trains a lot of them. It is the mission of Supreme Goddess Lorena to train as many men as possible to be slaves to the superior needs of Women. Everyone who wants to serve Her, must support Her mission and hence accept that She trains many slaves. And if one is serious about serving Supreme Goddess Lorena, it is obvious that no single slave can serve all Her needs. So it is normal She owns at least a few of them. By owning many slaves Supreme Goddess Lorena overcomes the limitations of any single slave, and that is Her right. At the same time, every slave hopes to be ‘special’ or ‘the special one’ in the eyes of the Goddess. But that is logically impossible and hence for the slave a limitation to the relationship.
Maybe it is even a general rule of relationships (not exclusively for D/s relationships): if one engages in a relationship it means one makes the choice to deal with the limitations of it. If one is falling foolishly in love, there seems to be no limitations to the relationship. If in a relationship that stands for some years there is still love, this means both partners have found a way to deal with limitations. Limitations of the other person. Limitations of oneself. Limitations of the situation. Maybe dealing with limitations is even the beauty of a relationship. Because after all that is the fuel for the dynamics of the relationship.
What i am writing here sounds very rational. But it is not how i feel at this moment. At this moment i am struggling with the limitations of my relationship as a cyberslave to Supreme Goddess Lorena. Just because i feel Her domination over me hasn’t reached it’s limits yet, and my submission to Her hasn’t reached it’s limits, i feel the limitations the internet puts on our relationship as a burden. The limitation that i am stuck with has a name: trust.
The more a relationship gets personal the more trust is at stake. If you don’t trust someone, you try not to get involved in a personal way with him or Her. Of course the internet has a problem of trust. It is easy to fake a personality at the internet. The internet even encourages us to do so. By choosing a nickname at a forum, by given us the opportunity to create (or ‘buy’) us a personality in SecondLife. And in general people want to trust the ‘real’ person, not the ‘fake’ person.
The choice Supreme Goddess Lorena is making to train many slaves trough the internet makes the problem of trust bigger for Her. Between the many slaves She meets through the internet there must be some ‘fake ones’ and even in the group of honest slaves, there will be some who begin to stalk their Divine Mistress once She shows to much confidentiality to Her slaves. So because Supreme Goddess Lorena makes the choice to train many slaves, She makes a reasonable choice to put limitations on the degree of trust and confidentiality She shows to any of Her slaves in particular. By accepting the terms and conditions of my slavery to Her, i accept all the consequences of it.
Again, some (or many) people say that just because the internet puts such a great trust and confidentiality problem, that opposes cyberrelationships to real life relationships. Again, i do not agree. Also in ‘face to face’ life people love to experiment with personalities. And that puts the problem of which of the personalities a person is showing is the ‘real’ personality and the ‘fake’ personality. And also in face to face relationships we want to give our trust to the ‘real’ person. Think of the very romantic lover who turns out to be just another jerk right after marriage. And honestly, i think that in this example it is even impossible to decide which of the personalities is the ‘real’ one, the romantic lover or the jerk.
So the things that play in my cyberrelationship to Supreme Goddess Lorena are the same one that play in face to face relationships for centuries. Over time we have learned to ‘check’ for trust in face to face relationships. Mothers could at least try to warn Their Daughters that romantic lovers could turn into just the same kind of jerk Their father is. In cyberrelatonsships we are the ‘first generation’: no one can teach us how to ‘check’ for trust. We have the ‘privilege’ to find it out for ourselves.
I feel i can submit more to Supreme Goddess Lorena. I feel She can dominate me more. Just at this moment the way we relate shows the limitations it puts on an ‘easy going’ development of our relationship. It brings me in a strange mood. If it brings also some inspiration to think about the ‘reality’ cyberrelationships and face to face relationship share, well maybe i contributed a little bit to the sloppy learning curve of trust and confidentiality on the internet.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
3th Anniversary of Academy for slaves
Congratulations
The Academy for slaves celebrates it’s 3 anniversary on July, 28. As a graduate of three of the excellent trainings of the Academy i want to congratulate Supreme Goddess Lorena, the Foundress and HeadMistress of the Academy and all the Trainers. And i hope the Academy has a big future ahead. The Academy has a key role to play in the advancement of Female Supremacy. A lot of men have submissive feelings, but few of them are properly trained to serve Superior Women in all Their needs.
Gratitude
This anniversary is a good occasion for me to reflect on the training i went through at the Academy for slaves. What is most important to me, is that the training changed my personality. Before i entered the Academy i was a man with submissive feelings, but i was on the lose. i didn’t know what to do with these feelings. Now, i consider my submission as the basic dimension of my personality. And it has become a real ‘power’ in my life. Being a slave to the Superior Needs of a Woman is very difficult, and a ‘perfect’ slave doesn’t exist. But because the training worked at the level of my personality, my submission really has become an ‘energy’ that helps me to become a better slave every day. i am grateful to Supreme Goddess Lorena for all Her efforts on my training. Her training really changed my life, and changed it for the better.
Recommendation
Of course i want to recommend the Academy for slaves to my fellow men. As a Female Supremist i think all men can better their lifes by at least following a basic training at the Academy. But especially for these men that are already aware of their submissive feelings, it is a great opportunity to finally do something useful with these feelings. Be a man, face your submission, enter the Academy. Recently, Supreme Goddess Lorena gave me the permission to browse bdsm forums on the internet. And what i read there makes me say that there really is a great need for training of submissive men. i see a lot of men claiming to be submissive, but who are concerned primarily about their penis. i see a lot of men claiming they want to serve the needs of a Woman, but at the same time talking to them in a very rude language. And i hear these men complaining that there is no Superior Woman who wants them. And many times i think: you poor man, a little bit of training at the Academy would help you so much.
Warning
At the same time i want to warn all the men who are considering to enter the Academy for slaves. The training is not a ‘play’ and the training is not about your fetishes. The training is about your submission and about the Superior Needs of a Woman. i even want to ask that those lowly males who are only interested in ‘play’ will refrain from bothering the Trainers with their silly wishes. The time of the Trainers, and especially of the HeadMistress is very precious. And if you are not serious about your intentions to become a better slave, you never pass the admission procedure. But even if you are ready, be prepared to the shocking experience the training can be.
Comfort
But if you want to enter the Academy, i want to comfort you too. The training is shocking and life changing, no doubt about that. But because the training is so personal, the Trainers never leave you alone. The standards of Supreme Goddess Lorena concerning the personal guidance of the Trainers is very high. This is just normal for Her: because She sets high standards for slavery, She sets high standards for those Women that want to train men into their slavery. Of course, there is a general framework for the training. And all trainees must obey the same set of strict rules. But within that framework, all attention goes to your unique personality as a slave. Of course, the main goal of the training is to be a better slave to the Superior Needs of Women. But close to that is the goal of the personal development of the slave. Even after one training course you are more aware of your submission, and you are more proud of it. Just because the Trainers make you understand that your submission is your only way to be close to the Superior Woman you adore.
Circle of slaves
After having successfully completed three training courses at the Academy, i am not in any of it's training courses at this moment, but i am still a full member and i feel just like any of it's trainees. The Academy is like a university. Teaching and research are closely intertwined. Apart from Her educational mission, Supreme Goddess Lorena is very dedicated to the advancement of Female Supremacy. Of course, She leads this magnificent project. But She really invites and encourages slaves to participate in the project. It is somewhat strange. Inevitably, this project leads to deeper submission and more slavery for the men that are involved in it. Yet, Supreme Goddess Lorena has a very faithful and growing circle of slaves who want to go that way. This devotion and dedication is for a great part due to the power of Supreme Goddess Lorena, which is a total and very natural power. It is a sexual and intellectual power at the same time. But because Her power is so natural, it is natural to submit to Her.
Hope
As a personal conclusion. The more i submit to Supreme Goddess Lorena., the more i feel i am a complete person: a lowly man, aware of his submission who has found his destiny in serving the Supreme Goddess. my Training at the Academy opened the path to my submission. So i am joyfully celebrating it’s third anniversary. And i keep working on my further submission to Supreme Goddess Lorena, in the hope She one day will considering ownership of me.
in this blog you can read more about the different training courses i toke.
Further recommended reading: this article on the Academy website.
The Academy for slaves celebrates it’s 3 anniversary on July, 28. As a graduate of three of the excellent trainings of the Academy i want to congratulate Supreme Goddess Lorena, the Foundress and HeadMistress of the Academy and all the Trainers. And i hope the Academy has a big future ahead. The Academy has a key role to play in the advancement of Female Supremacy. A lot of men have submissive feelings, but few of them are properly trained to serve Superior Women in all Their needs.
Gratitude
This anniversary is a good occasion for me to reflect on the training i went through at the Academy for slaves. What is most important to me, is that the training changed my personality. Before i entered the Academy i was a man with submissive feelings, but i was on the lose. i didn’t know what to do with these feelings. Now, i consider my submission as the basic dimension of my personality. And it has become a real ‘power’ in my life. Being a slave to the Superior Needs of a Woman is very difficult, and a ‘perfect’ slave doesn’t exist. But because the training worked at the level of my personality, my submission really has become an ‘energy’ that helps me to become a better slave every day. i am grateful to Supreme Goddess Lorena for all Her efforts on my training. Her training really changed my life, and changed it for the better.
Recommendation
Of course i want to recommend the Academy for slaves to my fellow men. As a Female Supremist i think all men can better their lifes by at least following a basic training at the Academy. But especially for these men that are already aware of their submissive feelings, it is a great opportunity to finally do something useful with these feelings. Be a man, face your submission, enter the Academy. Recently, Supreme Goddess Lorena gave me the permission to browse bdsm forums on the internet. And what i read there makes me say that there really is a great need for training of submissive men. i see a lot of men claiming to be submissive, but who are concerned primarily about their penis. i see a lot of men claiming they want to serve the needs of a Woman, but at the same time talking to them in a very rude language. And i hear these men complaining that there is no Superior Woman who wants them. And many times i think: you poor man, a little bit of training at the Academy would help you so much.
Warning
At the same time i want to warn all the men who are considering to enter the Academy for slaves. The training is not a ‘play’ and the training is not about your fetishes. The training is about your submission and about the Superior Needs of a Woman. i even want to ask that those lowly males who are only interested in ‘play’ will refrain from bothering the Trainers with their silly wishes. The time of the Trainers, and especially of the HeadMistress is very precious. And if you are not serious about your intentions to become a better slave, you never pass the admission procedure. But even if you are ready, be prepared to the shocking experience the training can be.
Comfort
But if you want to enter the Academy, i want to comfort you too. The training is shocking and life changing, no doubt about that. But because the training is so personal, the Trainers never leave you alone. The standards of Supreme Goddess Lorena concerning the personal guidance of the Trainers is very high. This is just normal for Her: because She sets high standards for slavery, She sets high standards for those Women that want to train men into their slavery. Of course, there is a general framework for the training. And all trainees must obey the same set of strict rules. But within that framework, all attention goes to your unique personality as a slave. Of course, the main goal of the training is to be a better slave to the Superior Needs of Women. But close to that is the goal of the personal development of the slave. Even after one training course you are more aware of your submission, and you are more proud of it. Just because the Trainers make you understand that your submission is your only way to be close to the Superior Woman you adore.
Circle of slaves
After having successfully completed three training courses at the Academy, i am not in any of it's training courses at this moment, but i am still a full member and i feel just like any of it's trainees. The Academy is like a university. Teaching and research are closely intertwined. Apart from Her educational mission, Supreme Goddess Lorena is very dedicated to the advancement of Female Supremacy. Of course, She leads this magnificent project. But She really invites and encourages slaves to participate in the project. It is somewhat strange. Inevitably, this project leads to deeper submission and more slavery for the men that are involved in it. Yet, Supreme Goddess Lorena has a very faithful and growing circle of slaves who want to go that way. This devotion and dedication is for a great part due to the power of Supreme Goddess Lorena, which is a total and very natural power. It is a sexual and intellectual power at the same time. But because Her power is so natural, it is natural to submit to Her.
Hope
As a personal conclusion. The more i submit to Supreme Goddess Lorena., the more i feel i am a complete person: a lowly man, aware of his submission who has found his destiny in serving the Supreme Goddess. my Training at the Academy opened the path to my submission. So i am joyfully celebrating it’s third anniversary. And i keep working on my further submission to Supreme Goddess Lorena, in the hope She one day will considering ownership of me.
in this blog you can read more about the different training courses i toke.
Further recommended reading: this article on the Academy website.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Independence day and the pursuit of happiness
Introduction
i am not an American. But of course i know the 4th of July as Independance Day. And i know ‘Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness’ is one of the famous phrases in the United States’ Declaration of Independence. And until recently, i fully agreed with the common sense behind these concepts… The common sense is: to pursue happiness you must be at least free (liberty) and independent. But is this true?
At least for me, it isn’t true anymore. i make my position clear from the beginning. i want to pursue happiness in my life. But in order to truly do so, i am actually in a process of giving up liberty for slavey and of becoming more and more ‘dependent’ of the Woman who’s slave and worshipper i want to be. And until now, everything indicates that by giving up freedom and independence i come closer to what happiness means in my life.
Does independency exists?
Maybe for a starter: does independence and liberty exists? In a certain sense yes. If you are a child, and you grow up, you want to become ‘independent’ of your parents. So, you want a job to gain a proper wage. And after a few years (or months?) you find out that you are financially independent of your parents now, just to become a wage slave, and totally dependent on your employer. Your parents told you to be at home at midnight.and that doesn’t mean liberty? You end up with an employer who tells you to be at work at 7 a.m., so after a few months of feasting on your salary, you most happily end at home every night at 10 p.m., just to go to bed because you have to rise early for your employer. Liberty? Independence?
This is a small, almost ridiculous example. But more fundamentally, are we ‘independent’? We believe what CNN, Berlusconi or Fox News are telling us. We are wearing what Levi’s or Prada is telling us to wear. We eat and drink what McDonald’s and Coca Cola are telling us to eat and drink. That is just ‘consumer society’, where the pursuit of happiness means to consume what the producers are telling us to consume. Liberty? Independence?
This ‘dependence’ as a consumer we all know, and great philosophers and sociologists have made a critique of that kind of society. But gradually, i became aware i am ‘dependent’ in a much more fundamental way yet. i am a male being, and in my natural state i am dependent on my ‘natural’ male desires. For a lot of men this means the liberty to spread their sperm the way they like it. For a lot of men this means to be in an eternal competition with their fellow (?) men, even if this means making war and counting the casualties. Is this the pursuit of where the penis (or the gun) leads you or is this the pursuit of happiness?
my pursuit of happiness
i am a lowly man, and the first step in my pursuit of happiness is to admit it. It is like an alcoholic going to an AA-meeting the first time and saying: ‘i am x. and i am an alcoholic’. Just to admit frees your mind and soul. i am a man with submissive feelings, i knew this from a very early age. But once i admitted i am a lowly male, i could accept these feelings as a ‘strong’ dimension in my personality. And that is really the next step in the pursuit of happiness, because it is through my submission i can relate in a proper way to a Superior Woman.
Of course, finding a Woman who really wants to care for your submission isn’t easy. But as the founding fathers of the US understood, nobody can promise you happiness, what is important is that you are free to pursue your happiness. i am most happy now that i have found Supreme Goddess Lorena. First She trained me to accept my submission as the core dimension of my personality. Now She allows me to worship and to serve Her, and i feel i am in a process of giving up my existence as an ‘independent’ being and of becoming more ‘dependent’ on my Goddess. And as i feel it now, it is like if i have reached a state of total ‘dependency’ of Her, my pursuit of happiness will have come to an end in a nirvana of submission.
Of course, if you are brainwashed to believe that it is ‘independence’ that matters, going to a process of becoming dependent is difficult. And we should be very careful in giving meaning to that concept. If you browse on a typical bdsm-forum, you meet a lot of men with submissive fantasies, and they are ‘dependent’ of Women to fulfil their fantasies that really have become fetishes for them. So, in reality they are dependent of their fetishes, and they ‘use’ Women to fulfil these fetishes. That is not the kind of ‘dependency’ a lowly male needs in his pursuit of happiness. If he really wants to turn his submission in something that leads to happiness, he has to become dependent of the Superior Needs of the Woman he serves. This must be the reference for his life and for his acts. In this way he becomes dependent on what a Superior Woman wants and he is no longer dependent on his desires as a lowly male.
In the case of Supreme Goddess Lorena, we can even take this one step further. She is one of these rare Women who is strong enough to create a world of Her own. That is one reason why She is a true Goddess. So, ‘becoming dependent’ on Her really means entering Her world and accepting the place She gives you in Her world. And because She is a very complete Person, She stimulates Her slaves to be complete in their submission. Again, this is not easy, but as a submissive male, you really feel you are on your pursuit of happiness while becoming dependent of the world view of Supreme Goddess Lorena.
i just give two examples of what it means to me to become ‘dependent’ on Supreme Goddess Lorena. It are just examples, because Supreme Goddess Lorena knows Her slaves in a very personal way and has a specific path for the submission of each one of them. The first example: Supreme Goddess Lorena controls my chastity (not with chastity devices, just with mental power of both of us). This means less, but also better orgasms for me. But what is most important: the way She controls my chastity makes that my climaxes are less ‘selfish’, less centered at my own penis. They have become a way to worship Her and a way to relate my existence as a lowly male to the mysteries of nature. So, i am more ‘dependent’ now, but truly have made progress in my pursuit of happiness, even in a spiritual way.
The second example is about money. Supreme Goddess Lorena invites Her slaves to send Her gifts and tributes. i don’t feel like i am Her ‘financial slave’ right now, and i openly discussed with Her about my limits due to obligations i have in my other life. But offering gifts and tributes to my Goddess is a normal way to worship Her nonetheless. So in spending my money i am less independent now. But at the same time, i think i made progress in my pursuit of happiness. When i am walking in the city, (in my own city as well when i am on holidays) i am always looking for beautiful things i can buy for my Goddess. And it is difficult, because Her needs are not only superior but delicate too. So i have to choose in the right way. But this makes me so much more sensitive for the beauty of things and for the craftsmanship that is needed to create them.
Conclusion
So, it is time for a conclusion. ‘Independence’ is largely a fallacy. We are always ‘dependent’: on an employer, or on large companies that prescribe what we consume, or on our lowly male desires. The concept of ‘independence’ as it is used now is no more than a cover up for the ‘dependencies’ that we accept unconsciously. Maybe, if ‘independence’ has a meaning, it can be the ‘independence of choosing our own dependencies’. i freely and consciously decided to accept i am a lowly male, and to become dependent of Supreme Goddess Lorena. i can really make this choice freely and consciously because it is a decisive choice in my pursuit of happiness, even if it means ‘giving up’ independence. i thank Supreme Goddess Lorena for Her efforts to create Her own world and for the opportunity She gives me to be part of that world as a male being that is dependent on Her. And i can only invite male readers to explore Her path in your pursuit to happiness.
i am not an American. But of course i know the 4th of July as Independance Day. And i know ‘Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness’ is one of the famous phrases in the United States’ Declaration of Independence. And until recently, i fully agreed with the common sense behind these concepts… The common sense is: to pursue happiness you must be at least free (liberty) and independent. But is this true?
At least for me, it isn’t true anymore. i make my position clear from the beginning. i want to pursue happiness in my life. But in order to truly do so, i am actually in a process of giving up liberty for slavey and of becoming more and more ‘dependent’ of the Woman who’s slave and worshipper i want to be. And until now, everything indicates that by giving up freedom and independence i come closer to what happiness means in my life.
Does independency exists?
Maybe for a starter: does independence and liberty exists? In a certain sense yes. If you are a child, and you grow up, you want to become ‘independent’ of your parents. So, you want a job to gain a proper wage. And after a few years (or months?) you find out that you are financially independent of your parents now, just to become a wage slave, and totally dependent on your employer. Your parents told you to be at home at midnight.and that doesn’t mean liberty? You end up with an employer who tells you to be at work at 7 a.m., so after a few months of feasting on your salary, you most happily end at home every night at 10 p.m., just to go to bed because you have to rise early for your employer. Liberty? Independence?
This is a small, almost ridiculous example. But more fundamentally, are we ‘independent’? We believe what CNN, Berlusconi or Fox News are telling us. We are wearing what Levi’s or Prada is telling us to wear. We eat and drink what McDonald’s and Coca Cola are telling us to eat and drink. That is just ‘consumer society’, where the pursuit of happiness means to consume what the producers are telling us to consume. Liberty? Independence?
This ‘dependence’ as a consumer we all know, and great philosophers and sociologists have made a critique of that kind of society. But gradually, i became aware i am ‘dependent’ in a much more fundamental way yet. i am a male being, and in my natural state i am dependent on my ‘natural’ male desires. For a lot of men this means the liberty to spread their sperm the way they like it. For a lot of men this means to be in an eternal competition with their fellow (?) men, even if this means making war and counting the casualties. Is this the pursuit of where the penis (or the gun) leads you or is this the pursuit of happiness?
my pursuit of happiness
i am a lowly man, and the first step in my pursuit of happiness is to admit it. It is like an alcoholic going to an AA-meeting the first time and saying: ‘i am x. and i am an alcoholic’. Just to admit frees your mind and soul. i am a man with submissive feelings, i knew this from a very early age. But once i admitted i am a lowly male, i could accept these feelings as a ‘strong’ dimension in my personality. And that is really the next step in the pursuit of happiness, because it is through my submission i can relate in a proper way to a Superior Woman.
Of course, finding a Woman who really wants to care for your submission isn’t easy. But as the founding fathers of the US understood, nobody can promise you happiness, what is important is that you are free to pursue your happiness. i am most happy now that i have found Supreme Goddess Lorena. First She trained me to accept my submission as the core dimension of my personality. Now She allows me to worship and to serve Her, and i feel i am in a process of giving up my existence as an ‘independent’ being and of becoming more ‘dependent’ on my Goddess. And as i feel it now, it is like if i have reached a state of total ‘dependency’ of Her, my pursuit of happiness will have come to an end in a nirvana of submission.
Of course, if you are brainwashed to believe that it is ‘independence’ that matters, going to a process of becoming dependent is difficult. And we should be very careful in giving meaning to that concept. If you browse on a typical bdsm-forum, you meet a lot of men with submissive fantasies, and they are ‘dependent’ of Women to fulfil their fantasies that really have become fetishes for them. So, in reality they are dependent of their fetishes, and they ‘use’ Women to fulfil these fetishes. That is not the kind of ‘dependency’ a lowly male needs in his pursuit of happiness. If he really wants to turn his submission in something that leads to happiness, he has to become dependent of the Superior Needs of the Woman he serves. This must be the reference for his life and for his acts. In this way he becomes dependent on what a Superior Woman wants and he is no longer dependent on his desires as a lowly male.
In the case of Supreme Goddess Lorena, we can even take this one step further. She is one of these rare Women who is strong enough to create a world of Her own. That is one reason why She is a true Goddess. So, ‘becoming dependent’ on Her really means entering Her world and accepting the place She gives you in Her world. And because She is a very complete Person, She stimulates Her slaves to be complete in their submission. Again, this is not easy, but as a submissive male, you really feel you are on your pursuit of happiness while becoming dependent of the world view of Supreme Goddess Lorena.
i just give two examples of what it means to me to become ‘dependent’ on Supreme Goddess Lorena. It are just examples, because Supreme Goddess Lorena knows Her slaves in a very personal way and has a specific path for the submission of each one of them. The first example: Supreme Goddess Lorena controls my chastity (not with chastity devices, just with mental power of both of us). This means less, but also better orgasms for me. But what is most important: the way She controls my chastity makes that my climaxes are less ‘selfish’, less centered at my own penis. They have become a way to worship Her and a way to relate my existence as a lowly male to the mysteries of nature. So, i am more ‘dependent’ now, but truly have made progress in my pursuit of happiness, even in a spiritual way.
The second example is about money. Supreme Goddess Lorena invites Her slaves to send Her gifts and tributes. i don’t feel like i am Her ‘financial slave’ right now, and i openly discussed with Her about my limits due to obligations i have in my other life. But offering gifts and tributes to my Goddess is a normal way to worship Her nonetheless. So in spending my money i am less independent now. But at the same time, i think i made progress in my pursuit of happiness. When i am walking in the city, (in my own city as well when i am on holidays) i am always looking for beautiful things i can buy for my Goddess. And it is difficult, because Her needs are not only superior but delicate too. So i have to choose in the right way. But this makes me so much more sensitive for the beauty of things and for the craftsmanship that is needed to create them.
Conclusion
So, it is time for a conclusion. ‘Independence’ is largely a fallacy. We are always ‘dependent’: on an employer, or on large companies that prescribe what we consume, or on our lowly male desires. The concept of ‘independence’ as it is used now is no more than a cover up for the ‘dependencies’ that we accept unconsciously. Maybe, if ‘independence’ has a meaning, it can be the ‘independence of choosing our own dependencies’. i freely and consciously decided to accept i am a lowly male, and to become dependent of Supreme Goddess Lorena. i can really make this choice freely and consciously because it is a decisive choice in my pursuit of happiness, even if it means ‘giving up’ independence. i thank Supreme Goddess Lorena for Her efforts to create Her own world and for the opportunity She gives me to be part of that world as a male being that is dependent on Her. And i can only invite male readers to explore Her path in your pursuit to happiness.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
The runaway worshipper
In my previous articles i told somewhat about my training at the Academy for slaves. While i was in training, my life began to change. i learned Supreme Goddess Lorena has a monthly Lorenaism calendar that is very helpful for slaves who want to worship Her. i begged Her to send me the calendar, and i began to follow it. i wanted to do some slave work for Her, and after i begged for it a few times She was so kind to give me permission to do some webwork for Her. In that period my colleagues began to see i was changing: i was in a better shape and more attentive in general. That was what i was feeling too.
If i am honest, i must say it wasn’t just a change of ‘mood’ that could quickly change again. Deep inside i knew my personality had changed. i asked Supreme Goddess Lorena to write an article about it, and i was surprised to find it published on Her website.
But than, suddenly, i stopped with all this. i didn’t engage in a next training program, i stopped following the Lorenaism calendar, i stopped doing the webwork. There certainly wasn’t a specific reason or cause why i stopped. I just… stopped.
Certainly, i can’t say Supreme Goddess Lorena disappointed me in some way or another. Just the opposite: i was convinced She gave me more then i could have ever hoped for. In the article that is now published on Academyforslaves.com i wrote that by making me accept my submission She added a dimension to my personality. i felt grateful to Her, but at the same time… i just left the Academy.
If i look back at it, i understand what was happening. Intuitively i felt my life was changing, and if i continued i couldn’t resist the changes that where happening. On the one hand i wanted these changes. After all, i am a man with submissive feelings, and now i had found Someone who cared for my submission. On the other hand, i couldn’t handle the change in my life. i began to understand that my life really would change. You can find many BDSM-websites that cater for the fetishes of submissive men. And a big part of the so called BDSM-scene is also about these fetishes. But Supreme Goddess Lorena demands true submission, She wants Her needs served, She wants Her worshippers to adhere to true Female Supremacy. And that was simply to much to me at that moment.
So, i did what most men do if they are asked to make a true emotional commitment… i ran away… without even leaving a word for the Woman who gave me so much… And so i proofed by my behaviour one of the points Supreme Goddess Lorena is making… And i did what most men do when running away from an emotional commitment: i began to masturbate like a bonobo in the zoo, i surfed the internet wildly in search for the most exiting images of Dommes…
Now i understand that what i did was wrong. Certainly it was wrong to run away and even not explaining and apologizing with Supreme Goddess Lorena for my rude behaviour. After more then a year –and long before i re-entered the Academy- i finally wrote Her an e-mail to offer my excuses. And when i finally decided to re-enter, i apologized again. Supreme Goddess Lorena accepted my apologies, and i am grateful to Her for Her forgiveness. Offering excuses and being excused is a private matter: it is between the person who made an offence and the person who is offended.
But in this case i want to apologize again in the more public setting of this weblog. i was a male running away from a most wonderful Woman, and males do this to often. This rude behaviour alone makes us ‘lowly’ males. By making my excuses i accept i am a lowly male. By making them in public, i hope more men will take this step.
Running away was not only wrong against Supreme Goddess Lorena. It was wrong against myself too. Supreme Goddess Lorena made me understand submission is a powerful dimension of my personality and She showed me a way to give that dimension its proper place. And just because i was afraid where this way would lead me, i ran downhill in the opposite direction. Now that i decided to go uphill again, i understand what i was missing in these 18 months. i was missing personal growth as a slave and a worshipper of Supreme Goddess Lorena. Throwing away this opportunity for personal growth is doing wrong against my own person. i have to face the fact that i did this. And the best way to do this is simply admit it, and than going on, going uphill where Supreme Goddess Lorena is residing. And the only way uphill is serving and worshipping Her.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Goddess Worshipping... feeling the harmony of D/s
After the humiliation training i didn’t feel humiliated. Of course, Supreme Goddess Lorena did humiliating things to me. And i did understand She or any future Mistress has the right to humiliate me, be it as a punishment or as a mere amusement for Her. But during the training course my resistance to being humiliated decreased. Where in the Basis Obedience Course i learned i am a lowly man, during the Humiliation Course i learned to accept it and to become an object that a Superior Woman can use at Her will. And after all, for a lowly male it isn’t humiliating to be used by a Superior Lady. What really is humiliating is not being used by Her.
All sustainable relations are reciprocal in some way. This is true for a D/s relationship too. i felt that the right of a Superior Woman to humiliate me, is the part of the dynamics flowing from the Mistress to the slave. What has a slave to give in return to keep the dynamics going? Supreme Goddess Lorena is very clear about it: a lowly man must worship a Superior Lady as a Goddess. And that is the next training course She ordered me to take: the Goddess Worshipping training.
Of course, because Supreme Goddess Lorena wants to be called a Goddess, i was used to call Her Supreme Goddess Lorena. This is an elementary rule in the ‘protocol’ of any D/s relationship. At the same time i was puzzled about it. Raised in a Christian tradition it was almost a sin to call a living person a Goddess. And now, the Woman who i felt so attracted to, and who was so kind to take responsibility for my submission, was asking me to learn how to worship Her as a Goddess. Wasn’t that a bridge to far? At the same time, i really felt it was an ‘invitation’ of the Goddess to give it a try, not an ‘obligation’. So, why not give it a try?
As i feel it now, at that moment Supreme Goddess Lorena opened the doors to a new reality for me. She showed me it is possible to integrate a spiritual dimension into a D/s relationship and that it makes that relationship complete. Also in my previous articles on my training i was reluctant to go into my personal experiences to much. Not that i don’t want to share them with you. But i want to encourage you to seek your own experiences. This is certainly true for everything relating to spirituality. For everyone who is open to it, there is a spiritual path into Female Supremacy, but it will be a most personal one. What makes Supreme Goddess Lorena a true Goddess is that She can lead many males on their own personal path.
When i entered the Goddess Worhip training i thought it would be something ‘soft’ – learning some prayers, kneeling with a devoted smile before the image of the Goddess. But maybe this is the hardest training Supreme Goddess Lorena offers to aspirant slaves. For a large part of the program, the slave has to train his body functions, and i mean the most elementary of them. Supreme Goddess Lorena really asks Her slaves to push their limits. Of course through control of the body, a lowly man is no longer the slave of his body, but he opens up to relate to a reality that is deeper and more beautiful. And than, by learning some essential rituals a lowly man learns to see Supreme Goddess Lorena is at the heart of that reality. Suddenly you become aware it is a great opportunity to worship Her, and through that worshipping to connect that deeper reality. You understand you are a lowly man, but that is just your place in nature, and at the same time you understand the very special place of Supreme Goddess Lorena, and you feel happy at Her feet.
Is it ‘soft’? Maybe, because you feel the perfect harmony of the Mistress/slave-relationship. But it is ‘hard’ too, because you are aware of the consequences. You are in this world to serve a Superior Lady, and even in the basic functioning of your body it are no longer your needs but the superior needs of your Mistress that are important. And for you, if you want to be a good slave, it will be a permanent condition to control your body to be in the state of obedience and servitude your Mistress deserves.
To end this article i just want to share two thoughts with you. What is wonderful about Supreme Goddess Lorena is that She began to call Herself a Goddess without ‘understanding’ all the consequences of it. It is just because She felt so many disrespect from lowly males, that She tought: maybe if I call Myself a Goddess, they will understand what respecting a Woman means. But once She called Herself a Goddess, She began to understand She truly is a Goddess, that it isn’t just a name, but Her destiny. Entering the Spiritual World of Supreme Goddess Lorena is not entering a ‘fixed’ and ‘static’ religion, it is entering a dynamic spirituality that evolves as the life of Supreme Goddess Lorena evolves. And by giving your energy as a worshipper, you contribute to that development. This is beautiful.
And to end: if i read through forums on BDSM-websites i often read words connected to ‘worship’. Like in ‘i am a foot worshipper’, or ‘what do you like more as a slave: to worship the feet of your Mistress or the bottom of your Mistress.’ After the worshipping training at the Academy for slaves, i honestly must say i consider that kind of talk as a cheap form of fetishism, oriented to fulfil the needs of the slave, not oriented to truly worship the Superior Lady who is high above you in every aspect of Her life. I don’t say this to be rude, i just say because i discovered there is more then ‘cheap fetishism’, there is a world of ‘deep devotion’. And because i find it a beautiful world, i just want to invite you to explore that world.
All sustainable relations are reciprocal in some way. This is true for a D/s relationship too. i felt that the right of a Superior Woman to humiliate me, is the part of the dynamics flowing from the Mistress to the slave. What has a slave to give in return to keep the dynamics going? Supreme Goddess Lorena is very clear about it: a lowly man must worship a Superior Lady as a Goddess. And that is the next training course She ordered me to take: the Goddess Worshipping training.
Of course, because Supreme Goddess Lorena wants to be called a Goddess, i was used to call Her Supreme Goddess Lorena. This is an elementary rule in the ‘protocol’ of any D/s relationship. At the same time i was puzzled about it. Raised in a Christian tradition it was almost a sin to call a living person a Goddess. And now, the Woman who i felt so attracted to, and who was so kind to take responsibility for my submission, was asking me to learn how to worship Her as a Goddess. Wasn’t that a bridge to far? At the same time, i really felt it was an ‘invitation’ of the Goddess to give it a try, not an ‘obligation’. So, why not give it a try?
As i feel it now, at that moment Supreme Goddess Lorena opened the doors to a new reality for me. She showed me it is possible to integrate a spiritual dimension into a D/s relationship and that it makes that relationship complete. Also in my previous articles on my training i was reluctant to go into my personal experiences to much. Not that i don’t want to share them with you. But i want to encourage you to seek your own experiences. This is certainly true for everything relating to spirituality. For everyone who is open to it, there is a spiritual path into Female Supremacy, but it will be a most personal one. What makes Supreme Goddess Lorena a true Goddess is that She can lead many males on their own personal path.
When i entered the Goddess Worhip training i thought it would be something ‘soft’ – learning some prayers, kneeling with a devoted smile before the image of the Goddess. But maybe this is the hardest training Supreme Goddess Lorena offers to aspirant slaves. For a large part of the program, the slave has to train his body functions, and i mean the most elementary of them. Supreme Goddess Lorena really asks Her slaves to push their limits. Of course through control of the body, a lowly man is no longer the slave of his body, but he opens up to relate to a reality that is deeper and more beautiful. And than, by learning some essential rituals a lowly man learns to see Supreme Goddess Lorena is at the heart of that reality. Suddenly you become aware it is a great opportunity to worship Her, and through that worshipping to connect that deeper reality. You understand you are a lowly man, but that is just your place in nature, and at the same time you understand the very special place of Supreme Goddess Lorena, and you feel happy at Her feet.
Is it ‘soft’? Maybe, because you feel the perfect harmony of the Mistress/slave-relationship. But it is ‘hard’ too, because you are aware of the consequences. You are in this world to serve a Superior Lady, and even in the basic functioning of your body it are no longer your needs but the superior needs of your Mistress that are important. And for you, if you want to be a good slave, it will be a permanent condition to control your body to be in the state of obedience and servitude your Mistress deserves.
To end this article i just want to share two thoughts with you. What is wonderful about Supreme Goddess Lorena is that She began to call Herself a Goddess without ‘understanding’ all the consequences of it. It is just because She felt so many disrespect from lowly males, that She tought: maybe if I call Myself a Goddess, they will understand what respecting a Woman means. But once She called Herself a Goddess, She began to understand She truly is a Goddess, that it isn’t just a name, but Her destiny. Entering the Spiritual World of Supreme Goddess Lorena is not entering a ‘fixed’ and ‘static’ religion, it is entering a dynamic spirituality that evolves as the life of Supreme Goddess Lorena evolves. And by giving your energy as a worshipper, you contribute to that development. This is beautiful.
And to end: if i read through forums on BDSM-websites i often read words connected to ‘worship’. Like in ‘i am a foot worshipper’, or ‘what do you like more as a slave: to worship the feet of your Mistress or the bottom of your Mistress.’ After the worshipping training at the Academy for slaves, i honestly must say i consider that kind of talk as a cheap form of fetishism, oriented to fulfil the needs of the slave, not oriented to truly worship the Superior Lady who is high above you in every aspect of Her life. I don’t say this to be rude, i just say because i discovered there is more then ‘cheap fetishism’, there is a world of ‘deep devotion’. And because i find it a beautiful world, i just want to invite you to explore that world.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Humiliation: the power to stop the 'why'-question
The next training course i took at the Academy for slaves was the ‘Humiliation training’. After the Basic Obedience course i really accepted submission as a valuable dimension of my personality. i felt the power and the superiority of Supreme Goddess Lorena and i was fully aware I was a lowly being, crawling at Her Feet. But was my mind ready to accept to be humiliated by my Mistress, or did what was left from my male pride resist to such humiliation?
The Humiliation Training is a good test to see what is left of that male pride, and certainly the best possible next step to further enslavement.
Again, i do not want to go into great detail about the assignments. If you read this blog, it is probably because you are looking for slave training yourself. Than you have to go your personal way, and to much detail of someone else’s experience can withhold you from searching your own experience.
But i want to share with you a few things I find amazing, now that i look back at the training after some time. First thing: certainly the assignments were ‘difficult’ and ‘stupid’. And at the same time: they were very easy for me. That tells a lot about my state of mind at that moment. i really craved to be humiliated, so i was eager to do everything necessary to make the assignments really humiliating for me. Whatever Supreme Goddess Lorena asked me, i did without questioning. Normally i am a critical person, always asking the ‘why’-question. Now the fact that Supreme Goddess Lorena asked it, was enough to stop all questions from my part. Someone who can make me stop asking the ‘why’-question has real power over me, so if i still needed proof of the power of Supreme Goddess Lorena over me, the humiliation training was all i needed.
Second thing: after some of the assignments i felt a certain ‘intimacy’ (maybe strange in an e-mail training, but a fact for me.) i really wanted to share with Supreme Goddess Lorena what Her humiliating assignments did to me. And by writing freely about it, i made the excercises more humiliating yet. Of course the fact that i could write so freely, tells a lot about the trust I felt for my Trainer at that moment. For people who never experienced the dynamics of a D/s-relationship this must sound incredible: how can you trust someone who is constantly humiliating you? But to me, that is just the beauty of a D/s-relationship, opposed feelings are brought together in one reality. Normally, if you are humiliated by someone, you try to avoid that person. Now, i felt that after each humiliation i was closer to Supreme Goddess Lorena and that i wanted to come closer yet, even if that meant to be humiliated further by Her.
That feeling of intimacy and humiliation at the same time didn’t leave me ever since. Now, when i want to be really close to Supreme Goddess Lorena i hope She will be so kind to humiliate me again. To humiliate someone always asks an effort and a kind of creativity, and it feels good that your Mistress wants to spend that effort and creativity to You. And by accepting the humiliation, you show your respect and trust for Her. So, it is a kind of intimacy, even if it is long distance.
Of course, we must give humiliation it’s proper place in a D/s-relationship. It can be or become a fetish for a slave to be humiliated by his Mistress. And a D/s-relationship is not about the fetishes of a slave, but about the superior needs of the Mistress. But it is just one register a Mistress can use in defining the proper place of the slave. Maybe the case of Supreme Goddess Lorena is something special. She is a very kind person, and She doesn’t need to humiliate people to show Her power. Sometimes She just thinks it is fun to humiliate some lowly males, especially when She is with some of Her Girlfriends. Or sometimes She just thinks you need a lesson, and a little bit of humiliation does the trick quite well.
The Humiliation Training is a good test to see what is left of that male pride, and certainly the best possible next step to further enslavement.
Again, i do not want to go into great detail about the assignments. If you read this blog, it is probably because you are looking for slave training yourself. Than you have to go your personal way, and to much detail of someone else’s experience can withhold you from searching your own experience.
But i want to share with you a few things I find amazing, now that i look back at the training after some time. First thing: certainly the assignments were ‘difficult’ and ‘stupid’. And at the same time: they were very easy for me. That tells a lot about my state of mind at that moment. i really craved to be humiliated, so i was eager to do everything necessary to make the assignments really humiliating for me. Whatever Supreme Goddess Lorena asked me, i did without questioning. Normally i am a critical person, always asking the ‘why’-question. Now the fact that Supreme Goddess Lorena asked it, was enough to stop all questions from my part. Someone who can make me stop asking the ‘why’-question has real power over me, so if i still needed proof of the power of Supreme Goddess Lorena over me, the humiliation training was all i needed.
Second thing: after some of the assignments i felt a certain ‘intimacy’ (maybe strange in an e-mail training, but a fact for me.) i really wanted to share with Supreme Goddess Lorena what Her humiliating assignments did to me. And by writing freely about it, i made the excercises more humiliating yet. Of course the fact that i could write so freely, tells a lot about the trust I felt for my Trainer at that moment. For people who never experienced the dynamics of a D/s-relationship this must sound incredible: how can you trust someone who is constantly humiliating you? But to me, that is just the beauty of a D/s-relationship, opposed feelings are brought together in one reality. Normally, if you are humiliated by someone, you try to avoid that person. Now, i felt that after each humiliation i was closer to Supreme Goddess Lorena and that i wanted to come closer yet, even if that meant to be humiliated further by Her.
That feeling of intimacy and humiliation at the same time didn’t leave me ever since. Now, when i want to be really close to Supreme Goddess Lorena i hope She will be so kind to humiliate me again. To humiliate someone always asks an effort and a kind of creativity, and it feels good that your Mistress wants to spend that effort and creativity to You. And by accepting the humiliation, you show your respect and trust for Her. So, it is a kind of intimacy, even if it is long distance.
Of course, we must give humiliation it’s proper place in a D/s-relationship. It can be or become a fetish for a slave to be humiliated by his Mistress. And a D/s-relationship is not about the fetishes of a slave, but about the superior needs of the Mistress. But it is just one register a Mistress can use in defining the proper place of the slave. Maybe the case of Supreme Goddess Lorena is something special. She is a very kind person, and She doesn’t need to humiliate people to show Her power. Sometimes She just thinks it is fun to humiliate some lowly males, especially when She is with some of Her Girlfriends. Or sometimes She just thinks you need a lesson, and a little bit of humiliation does the trick quite well.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)