Obedience - the first step to my slavery

My slave training diary is before me. i am browsing it while i am writing this article. It is sometime ago now, that i was in the training course, but it is amazing how the feelings i had at that time, easily come back. And more amazing yet is the impact of the training. In what i wrote in my training diary, it is obvious i wanted to struggle with the truth Supreme Goddess Lorena was trying to tell me. And now it are simply the rules of my life. Not that i manage to follow the rules to the perfection, but i really see them as the natural condition of my life.

Supreme Goddess Lorena ordered me to take the basic obedience course first. Obedience is the basic attitude Supreme Goddess Lorena expects from Her slaves. She really wants to have it carved in the body and mind of Her slaves, so from the beginning She puts a great effort in the training of Her slaves at that point.

Of course there are different training methods. For instance there is the ‘discipline and correct’-approach. You do something wrong, your trainer punishes you, you do it wrong again, you are punished again, until you do the right thing. Like many aspirant slaves i thought to find that kind of training at the Academy. Isn’t it the approach we see in the ‘usual stuff’ of Femdom pictures and videoclips at the internet? And isn’t the punishment, and especially the physical pain, the ‘real thing’ many submissives males are craving for?

But that isn’t the approach Supreme Goddess Lorena is opting for in Her basic obedience course. She more takes the approach of ‘positive reïnforcement’. You make your first step as an obedient slave and she says ‘well done, slave, now make the following step’. Or ‘you did well in a simple thing, now I will make it a little bit more difficult.’ If i look back, i was very surprised by this approach. A Mistress who encourages Her trainees instead of punishing them? Can it work?

It worked for me... sometimes even in a shocking way. I felt confronted with an emotion i suppressed for such a long time, the emotion of being a submissive male. In Her approach, Supreme Goddess Lorena catered for that emotion. And where i thought that emotion was one of my ‘weakenesses’, She taught me it could be one of my strenghts. At least, if i am honest to myself and ready to accept Her truth about Female Supremacy. I was lucky enough to be in the right state of mind to make that important step. Because Supreme Goddess Lorena appealed in such a strong way to a basic emotion of my personality, i had to go through deep crisises. Sometimes, when i was doing my assignments, my body was trembling and shocking. Sometimes, i cried like a little child. The special training approach of Supreme Goddess Lorena made this possible.

It is obvious that in this way the training of Supreme Goddess Lorena is very personal. So, it makes no sense to go into great detail now. Everybody has to go his own way. Being a slave is after all a personal choice, and everyone who makes that choices has to go his personal way to it. Some of you who read this article, just may find it crazy. That just means my way is not your way, or it is not the right moment for you to go that way. Others may find some points of recognition, and i hope my testimony is helping some of you to go the way to Supreme Goddess Lorena like i did. But it will be your way, your very personal experience.

When i look back, a great advantage of the approach of Supreme Goddess Lorena over the ‘punishment and correction’ approach is that it encourages personal growth. The punishment and correction approach makes a slave occupied with the question ‘didn’t i do anything wrong?’. Supreme Goddess Lorena encourages you to pose an other question: ‘what can i do to be a better slave?’. Because you feel this as a positive energy, you really come open to explore the superior needs of your Mistress, et voilà, there is the slave oath again: ‘in everything i do i must be serving my Mistress.’

And that is what i am going to do now. I am very grateful to Supreme Goddess Lorena She encourages me to write this diary. But i have to catch up some work the Goddess asked me to do for Her. So, i better start doing it now...

Looking backwards at my training at the Academy for slaves

I am a man with submissive feelings. I knew this from a very early age. I didn’t do anything with it until i was in my forties. Now, it feels like i have found ‘my way’ to give this submissive feelings their right place in my life. In a kind of ‘retrospective diary’ i want to share ‘my way’ with others. The bdsm-community is very diverse, and i just want to add my story to that diversity.

For me, it all started when i had the courage to enter the Academy for slaves. I found the Academy during one of the periods of have bdsm surfing, mostly leading to sites with huge collections of fetish pictures. The Academy was different for me from the outset. Of course, the pictures of the Mistresses of the Academy appealed to me. But for one reason or another i understood the Academy wasn’t just another website that was built to give quick release to my fetish desires. I felt this was about real submission, and that was what i wanted.

So, i decided to enter the Academy by paying the entrance fee. And to write an application to the HeadMistress of the Academy to start my training... I didn’t know what to expect, so when i pushed the ‘send’-button i was quite nervous. I remember how i was surprised by the quick answer of the HeadMistress, that was certainly something i didn’t expect. My application pleased Her, so i was allowed to start directly with the first course, the Basic Obedience course.

The first thing i had to do (along with learning the other slave training rules) was learning the slave training oath: ‘In everything i do i have to serve my Mistress.’ That’s an easy one, i thought, sounds nice for a submissive male, it is easy to remember, easy to say... but very difficult to comply with, as i found out a little bit later. ‘Serving the Mistress’ is truly at the core of the training at the Academy for slaves. Supreme Goddess Lorena, Who founded the Academy, became aware that much on the bdsm-scene is about submissive man seeking Dominant Women to fix their fetish. And in that case, it is the ‘so called’ Dominant Woman Who serves the needs of the ‘so called’ submissive man. If you enter the Academy you soon learn that true submission is not about your fetish needs but about the Superior Needs of your Mistress. It is in that kind of true slavery you are trained at the Academy.

Next thing i had to do is... to acquire a notebook, a pen and a ruler. Are these the supplies for my training? I do not need at least a cane? Or some fetish underwear i have to wear during the training courses? A notebook and a pen? Is this all i need to become a good slave in the opinion of the HeadMistress? And a little bit silly, isn’t it? A notebook and a pen, that is for school boys entering primary school at the age of six, not for an adult living in the computer age... But at the same time, easy to do, so why not? But i never guessed at that moment that the notebook i bought would be my close companion for the next few months...

So, this way my training at the Academy had started...

At the end of this first entry about my training at the Academy, just a few quick answers to ‘Frequently asked questions’.

Q. Slave training through the internet, does it work? Do you not need the ‘real life’ presence of a Mistress, at least to give you a good whipping from time to time?

A. The least thing i can say: it worked for me, so if you are looking for a good training opportunity, why not give it a try? Of course, if you have no intrest at all in developing the psychological component of submission and slavery, and you really long for physical pain, the Academy is not your ‘place to be’. But if you feel that submission has to do with a ‘state of mind’, then be sure the Mistresses of the Academy are very good in moulding that state of mind.

Q. You really did/do pay for it? Are you mad?
A. If i want to be a good horse rider, i pay a trainer for some good lessons. If i want to be a computer expert, i pay expensive training courses. If i want to learn how to prepare some delicious salads, i pay a little fee to the local association that organizes some salad preparation courses. So, if i want to be a good slave, and i feel i need training, i don’t have to pay anything? Are you mad?

Q. Okay, but if you have to pay, it is a commercial site after all, it has nothing to do with ‘life style’?
A. i know many horse riding trainers, to whom horse riding is a life style, and as part of that lifestyle they give some lessons. I know many nerds to whom the computer is a lifestyle, and they earn a living by giving courses. And i know many housewives to whom preparing salads is a lifestyle, and to whom sharing their experiences adds to their pleasure, even if it is with silly males in their community who never really will understand the true delights of salad preparation. So i can imagine some ‘life style Mistresses’ who at a certain moment want to make a ‘summary’ of the experience they have build up during the years, and –because They care about the lifestyle- do the effort of creating training courses for newbies and more experienced slaves, just to raise the quality of the slaves in the ‘life style community’.

Worshipping the Goddess, slapping the penis

The last few weeks i was quite buzy with writing articles on this blog and posting on some internet forums. So much was going on in my head that i wanted to be expressed, and i felt a lot of energy and concentration for my webwork. But webwork is an enslavement of its own. It absorbs you and keeps you going. And as always while being busy working, you forget about important things. Or even worse, about important persons.

A few hours walking in the early sun of spring is very helpful in getting your priorities right again. So, it felt like i had put so much energy in sorting out and writing about my feelings for Supreme Goddess Lorena, that i forgot about the Goddess Herself. And after all, it are not my feelings that matter, it is Supreme Goddess Lorena Who is at the center of the universe in which i am a little particle.

So, i decided to start this beautiful day with some extra effort on my daily worshipping of the Goddess. i took some more time to decorate Her altar. While bowed for Her image i really tried to free myself of all thoughts that distract from the Goddess. i slowly red two of the prayers i wrote in Her honour in the Lorenaism bible. And i opened my heart and my mind for Her Divine Radiation.

Supreme Goddess Lorena is full of mercy for Her worshippers. So, after some time on my knees before Her image i felt the pure feelings of submission to Her and of adoration for Her divinity. It is an emotion that is very difficult to put into wording (so very difficult to share) but that is very real. It settles in your body and mind, and has a very real influence in your doing and thinking.

When worshipping the Goddess, it is always the beauty of Supreme Goddess Lorena that makes the first impressions in my mind. The Goddess invites Her worshippers to really look at the beauty of Her body. It makes a slave really happy to always discover some new aspects of that beauty. Sometimes, my eyes stay with one particular part of Her body, like the hands, or the feet, or the eyes. Sometimes it are the magnificent lines of Her body as a whole that keep the focus.

Worshipping this pure beauty, makes my submissive mind always at ease. And then i open up to the wisdom of Supreme Goddess Lorena. Like all true wisdom, it is very simple. Women are superior, men are inferior. So the best thing a man can do is stop serving his fetishes and start serving the superior needs of a Woman. If he has the luck that She accepts him as Her slave, he has reached the highest possible goal in his life. Here, i need three phrases to explain it, but bowed before Her divine image, i really feel it. Her beauty and her wisdom are one, and by worshipping Her beauty, you immediately access Her Divine Thruth.

After a longer then usual worshipping session, i resumed the chores in the house. But i must say, Her beautiful image didn’t leave me. And what happens to slaves who adore their Mistresses and Goddesses, i really got aroused. As i still have no permission to climax, i came in a difficult situation. So i returned to Her altar, bowed my head, got on my knees and worshipped Her again. During the session, i slapped my penis frequently as She has teached me during the humiliation course at the Academy. It felt really good to do that, as a proof of my chastity and Her power over me.

So, this is a happy slave writing these words. Happy because such a beautiful and wise Goddess allows him to worship Her. Happy because the beauty of his Goddess leads him into temptation. And happy that Her wisdom (a few slaps on the penis never really hurt a slave) keeps me out of trouble. Thank You, Supreme Goddess Lorena.

E-mail and E-motions: slavetraining@the.internet

i feel completely submitted and devoted to Supreme Goddess Lorena. Until now, i never saw Her, and most probably i will never see Her. An ocean and some thousand kilometers split us apart. The internet links us close together. i kneel down, close my eyes and i feel Her foot on my back. Because Her mind is that strong, and the internet makes the mind fly with the speed of light.

Internet and bdsm: a sometimes controversial issue. If i ‘admit’ on an internet forum that i have that kind of relation with my Mistress, some die hard ‘real life’-ers are ready to slam me down. Internet is not the ‘real thing’, you must feel the whip of your Lady to be a ‘real’ slave. The ‘virtual’ internet is for wannabee slaves. But doesn’t the internet necessitates us to redefine what is ‘real’ and what is ‘virtual’?

Not to much philosophy here, personal experience is much more interesting. And i want to share my experience as a slave related to his Mistress by the internet. i do not consider this as the ‘ideal’ relationship. But after my first girl friend ended our relationship that was meant for eternity to get laid by the football team captain and then the next weekend to get laid by the basketball team captain, i stopped dreaming of ideal relationships. Now that i am in my mid forties i know how precious even imperfect relationships are.

In this posting, i want to tell some more about by training period at the Academy for slaves. What is offered at the Academy for slaves is basically e-mail training. You choose a training course and do the assignments of the course. You send in your training reports and the Mistresses of the Academy give you a real close follow up. Simple as that...

... but mindshocking for me. i remember the reactions of my body in the basic obedience course. When Supreme Goddess Lorena instructed me in one of Her articles on what real submission to a Women means, my body shocked like it never did before. When i did reflect on how to be a good slave, i cried. Since that first girlfriend left me at the age of 16, i can count the times i cried on just one hand. Just because Supreme Goddess Lorena did understand how to touch the ‘string of submission’ in my mind and body, She released a flow of emotions i never guessed having suppressed for such a long time. In the training the ‘virtual means’ of the internet were used, but the changes it caused in my personality and my emotional well being were very ‘real’.

Of course, this is very ‘personal’. What works for me, maybe just doesn’t work for you. Because you and me are different persons. But if you are a little bit like me, and the psychology of submission matters to you, then maybe internet training is something for you. If you are just wondering if it isn’t all fake, know that it largely depends on you. If you are committed to dig in your personality and if you don’t ‘fake’ it yourself, it can work.

Is it the most perfect training you can imagine? Certainly not. And if you want the ideas of Supreme Goddess Lorena about the perfect training of a slave, just read Her book ‘Femaria, City of Women’. If you ask me, a few slaps in the face would be helpful to more quickly learn the essential slave rules, a few strokes of the cane would be effective in reminding the right of a Superior Lady to punish a slave at Her will. But as ‘perfection’ and ‘human relation’ are quite incompatible, it is honourable to settle for ‘good enough’. And in the case of my slave training with Supreme Goddess Lorena it was ‘more then i expected’.

Is training at the Academy for slaves the ‘alfa and omega’ of your life as a slave? Most probably not. You train if you want to start something you don’t know, and you train if you have some experience and because you have experience you understand you are failing in some aspects. Then life goes on. Certainly if you want to start your life as a slave, and for you being a slave means really to serve a Mistress (as opposed to hoping a Mistress will cater for your fetishes), then you should consider to take some courses with Supreme Goddess Lorena. You will be proud to present yourself to your Mistress as a well mannered slave who knows how to serve the superior needs of your Mistress. And some of you, maybe, will long to be owned by Supreme Goddess Lorena herself.